Two Weeks Post-Op

Okay, so it's a little more than two weeks postop. But pretty close.

Things are slowly improving. I can walk! I get around the house pretty good and even did okay accompanying Matt and the kids to the park. I'm a long way from "back to normal", so it is very frustrating, but being able to get my own food out of the fridge is cool. I'm looking forward to a day when I can yet again manage two kids in a grocery store, which currently sounds terrifying and would likely take me the better part of the day, if I could do it at all.

I can also eat a regular diet. I was on 'Mechanical soft' in the hospital, which basically means you can have anything but it has to be pureed (and sometimes then re-shaped into a more 'classic' form, in the case of things like chicken breasts). The only thing is, like everything else, I'm very slow eating. I have to be super careful when swallowing because I do feel more apt to choke if I don't consciously think about each swallow. Also, I get tired because I'm only chewing on the right side. The left side just doesn't feel strong enough. I don't like to eat in front of people because I can't control what's going on on the left and sometimes food falls out. It's gross. But I don't have to eat with a towel on my lap anymore, so it's getting better. I'm working on drinking out of a regular glass so I won't always need a straw. At least I can drink with a straw without having to pinch my outh closed with my hand like I had to in the hospital. And this is all better than a feeding tube, of course.

The left side of my face still shows no signs of trying to move voluntaily. I forgot the other day and tried to whistle, only to realize I can't.

The worst part about this is it means I still can't close my left eye all the way. So I have drops to put in every hour, lubricant (essentialy vaseline) to put in every four hours (which I can't do myself because I touch my eye without knowing it), and I have to wear a "moisture chamber" (aka plastic wrap held on with a ring of vaseline) all the time. The good news is I saw the eye doctor last week and my eye looks good still. I see a corneal specialist tomorrow, and every week until my next surgery, which isn't scheduled yet. For this surgery they will put a platinum weight in my upper eyelid and lift my lower eyelid. I'm not happy about it. If I only needed the weight it could be done already since it's just an outpt thing. But with the lower lid thing they have to put me to sleep. Yuck. I'm also afraid that one day my face will 'wake up' and then my eyes won't be even. The weight is removable but I think the lower lid lift is a permanent thing. I like my eyes, saggy lower lids and all. Of all the cosmetic surgeries to have to have done for medical reasons, this is not the one I'd choose.
However, it will be nice to be able to close my eye and loose this plastic patch that I can't see through clearly. I think my lack of clear vision on that side is really making things worse as far as walking, dizziness, and general disorientation.

Also crappy is not being able to smile right, and not being able to speak 100% clearly. I scare myself in the mirror, so I know it has to be weird to other people. Big thanks to my family and friends for not looking at all horrified!! At least it is October.
I've been watching a lot of TV lately, and as much as I try to be reasonable, I can't help but just get angry looking at all the whiney people who can move their faces. I'm like "You Dummy! You can smile on both sides and you don't even care! It's not fair." Very not reasonable or nice of me, but still. Be thankful for the little things you can do. I'm so happy I can walk and talk and use the bathroom on my own. I guess I didn't think about it before.

My left arm and leg don't cooperate with me as they did before, and I have some tingling in my left hand. Don't know what that's about. I start outpt physical therapy next week so maybe we'll see then.

I've ridden in the car a couple times. The first time I got really sick feeling, but it's getting better now.

I hear my incision looks pretty good. I can't wait until it's all healed up because 1) it feels swollen and itchy and yucky, 2) I want to scrub my hair out really good, and 3) I forgot 3. I did have a three.

I forget a lot. Even more than preop. It's bad.

Oh yeah, 3) it scares me. I've seen opened incisions and they are gross. I just want one thing healed.

No idea if I'm hearing a tiny bit in the left ear or not. I think not. If I stratch my ear it sounds like nothing. It just sounds like an empty seashell all the time.

For meds, aside from the eye stuff I'm down to just tylenol. And I'm trying to cut that back. But no more decadron, protonix (goes with the decadron because it beats up your stomach), or oxycodone. The oxy didn't do much for pain butmake me more dizzy. So I'm down to my regular extra strength tylenol. Trying to go down to twice a day from four times, so as to spare my liver a bit.

Ouch, sneeze. Sneezes suck.

I'm still having to sleep sitting up in a recliner. I tried sleeping in a bed a ew nights ago and woke up feeling nauseated and bobble-headed (swollen) after two hours, so I'll try again in awhile.

Still hot all the time. My internal thermostat's busted.

Matt is the best. He's doing all the kids watching and stuff for them like laundry and baths and carting to sports, and then coming to my parent's house (where I am) to help me in the shower and let us all hang out awhile - back and forth. And even when I whine and am depressed he still seems okay and cheers me up. We are very lucky for our support system, we couldn't do it without them!