Five Weeks Post-Op

I guess my standard is to be two days late on updates.

I think the biggest news of the last week is I had my gold weight surgery on friday. Basically, I went in, they took me back to preop to do a set of vitals and stick a grounding pad on my leg, they put these sticky drops in my eyes (they said it was to numb them so it wouldn't sting if/when they get betadine in them), and took me back into a little O.R. It wasn't in a hospital, but in a special eye surgery center that's in a eye doctor's office. Pretty cool.

[Surgery details that could potentially be gross in the next few paragraphs. You've been warned...]
So anyway, I was the last case of the day. The nurse put on a BP cuff and pulse ox and asked me if I needed/wanted an oxygen mask (they knew I'm a nurse). I was like "uh, I don't know. Do I need one?" They put a drape below my eyes that covered my mouth and all, and one above my eyes I think. Suddenly the doctor started scrubbing all around with betadine and I thought "Oh, I guess I'm supposed to close my eyes now." The bright OR lights were on, of course pointing right in my face/eyes on purpose, which is awesome when you can't close our eye all the way. And extra creepy when they open your eyelid up so the light gets oddly brighter as the layer between you and it is thinner.
Like the betadine, the local anesthetic injections were kind of out of no-where. Like, "Hey, you're poking my eyelid with a needle now! Okay!" I heard and smelled the cautery cutting my eyelid, but luckily didn't feel a thing. It was a little uncomfortable when he was putting the weight in because I guess they kind of have to make a pocket for it. And he had to do a little more cutting towards the end and I said "Uh.. I kind of feel that..", very nervously because it hurt some, but I don't know that they heard me. Anyway, I heard him ask for a "six O" (6.0 ... a suture) and I thought both "Woohoo, almost done!" and "Wow, that's a tiny suture." Then the doctor was wheeling me out and explaning post-op care and that was that. There was some conversation in the OR but I didn't participate much because 1) There was a radio on and apparently, with only one hearing ear, I can't understand people talking when there is background noise, and 2) I was being operated on. Keeping my eye somewhat closed takes a lot of effort and thought, and I could feel it trying to open while he was working on it.
[Gross stuff over.]

The "operation" (it seems weird to call a little outpatient thing under local an "operation" after brain surgery...) was pretty successful, but we won't know the full effects until the swelling is gone. I can almost close it all the way, but still not completely. The first night, when the lidocaine wore off, I whimpered a lot. And had frozen vegetables in sandwich bags on and off every 20 minutes, for hours. And took an oxycodone before bed. And said if I ever got another tumor I would just let it kill me, haha. The next day postop it got somewhat swollen but nothing horrific and now with my eyes open it really looks pretty normal. The incision is in the natural crease of my eyelid so once it's healed it'll be like nothing. I go monday to get the stitches out.

I did end up going in to get it looked at last monday because when the nurse called to check on me I told her how it feels like there's something in my eye all the time, and apparently that's not completely normal. I figured it was just from like the curvature of my eylid being different or something, but the doctor wanted to check it out and make sure it wasn't a stitch poking me. I was fine with that. So he fit me in between appointments just a hour and a half after a spoke to the nurse. Turns out I was right and everything looked fine.

For right now, no more plastic wrap on the eye. But, I'm not sure if I mentioned before that the left eye also doesn't produce tears anymore (so weird to only cry out of one side...), so I still have to put drops in frequently and ointment at night. That eye pretty much feels irritated and nasty all the time no matter what. But apparently as of monday my cornea looked good, so.. oh well I guess.

Weird thing, it seems I'm starting to get some feeling in that eye, but the feeling on the bottom half of my face is getting worse. Maybe the facial nerve gets worse before it gets better? I can still feel if I touch my face on the left (less than I do on the right but it's there) but if it's below my cheekbone, and especially on my upper lip, it feels weird and tingly almost like when your arm is "asleep". The inside of my mouth is the same on the left, and the end of my tongue still feels like it's been burnt.

Having to remember to bring a straw everywhere to drink really stinks.

Overall the course of the week, aside from the eye stuff, has been to get used to the flow of things at home. I've been trying to get more involved with doing stuff around the house and with my kids, as I can and within my post-op limitations. Sometimes I forget I'm not supposed to bend down and reach to get something off the floor and pay for it with a headache. But slowly I can do more around here. I warned the neighbor's about my hearing loss since when they call out to me it takes me awhile to locate them, and I didn't want them to think I was rude if I didn't return a "Hello" I never heard. Some people with SSD (single sided deafness) may feel weird about it, but it doesn't bother me for others to know. Then they are less likely to talk to me in my left ear and get a lot of "what?" from me. I don't think I would ever get something like a BAHA hearing device because it involves another surgery, and I'm hoping so hard I don't need anymore (though I'm pretty sure the eye is not done...).

Lasty, not so much because I'm out of things to say so much as The Office is on, I read this really good article on the Vestibular System (part of your balance system, including the most messed up nerve on me). Here's a snipit that talks about some non-balance things that can be effected when it's messed up, and describes some of the feelings pretty well. (Italics done by me.)
....
http://www.hearinglosshelp.com/articles/balancesystem.htm
Unlikely as it seems, vestibular damage can cause memory problems. Here is why. When you damage your vestibular system, keeping your balance is now largely a conscious effort, not the automatic effortless procedure it once was. Consequently, those areas of your brain that you once just used for thought and memory, now must constantly work on keeping you balanced. As a result, your memory may suffer. You may grope for words when talking. You may easily forget what is being spoken about during a conversation. You may be easily distracted. You may have difficulty comprehending directions or instructions. You may have trouble concentrating and may feel disoriented at times.

You may also experience fatigue because keeping your balance is now no longer a subconscious event, but something that you must consciously work hard to maintain. All this work makes you tired!

Vestibular damage may also give rise to muscular aches and pains. This is because when your vestibulo-spinal reflex no longer works automatically, you have to consciously control your balance by making your muscles rigid and less relaxed as you strain to keep your balance. In addition, you may get headaches and a stiff/sore neck from trying to hold your head absolutely still so you won't feel dizzy or nauseous.

Finally, damage to your vestibular system can include emotional problems such as anxiety, frustration, anger and depression. Your feelings of self-confidence and self-esteem may plummet. You may feel vaguely uneasy. You may feel that something is wrong or unreal without knowing why.