Nothing really new to report. Feeling much the same. Dizziness is more common this weekend. I'm thinking maybe it's been a problem for awhile, but I didn't pay it any mind before. Now it's kind of scary, like maybe if I ignore it and keep doing whatever I'm doing (like carrying the baby up the stairs, doing a lot of outside physical type things with the kids, etc) I'm going to fall down or drop the baby or something else not good. So I try to sit it out and get something to drink, etc. Still haven't gotten a really good sleep so that may also be contributing. Perhaps the right side doesn't compensate as well when I'm tired?
As far as headaches they're just kind of mild right now. It's more of a "full" feeling than pain really. Like my head is big and bobbly. The other night I had this weird feeling like "brain freeze" even though I wasn't eating anything cold. My neck gets sore, though. And my ear still feels nasty and full of goo.
I feel like I keep asking Benjamin (three year old) to repeat himself, and I feel bad. He's funny and just yells whatever he was saying back at me. Sometimes I really can't hear people, most times I hear them but don't seem to process it. It's really crazy the things that must have been going on for some time but I just ignored them or shrugged them off or compensated for them.
Trying to stay positive but I really don't like the dizzies. From what I've been reading it sounds like often times surgery makes the symptoms (hearing loss, headaches, loss of balance) worse - sometimes for only a short time, sometimes forever. I've resigned myself to the fact that I probably will loose hearing in my left ear. But the rest is a little scary. I don't like headaches, I don't like dizziness. I can see why people choose the 'wait and watch' option. At my age, with the tumor already the size it is, surgery is going to have to happen sometime. After the research, I'm not really scared that the surgery will kill me, but it would be nice to be sure I wouldn't be somehow debilitated, would have a normal postop quality of life, and will be able to go back to work quickly.
I'm anxious to get to these appointments on Thursday and get some more answers. Plus a surgery date would be nice...
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Nicole, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We really miss you at work. You are truly amazing. I found myself laughing out loud at a lot of your blogs. You are very strong and I admire your upbeat attitude towards all that you are going through. You are one tough cookie :) If you need anything at all don't hesitate to call 410-599-1957 Wishing you the best, Cara
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