Nine Weeks Post-Op

I realized my last post may have been late for "8 weeks", but was right on time for exactly two months post-op. So consider that the two month update. Two month pics to come soon.

It's been an emotional type week. No one could have prepared me for how mentally grueling this recovery was going to be. And I thought I wasn't prepared for the physical. Well that was easy in comparison.

Monday I had myself all prepared to return to work. Just mentally preparing has been no small feat. But then I had my Speech-Language Pathologist appointment Tuesday to check out my Executive Functioning. Most of the appointment consisted of interview, then a little test. The test wasn't too hard, and she said I scored "normal" on it. However, I will quote off the print out she gave me, "Hidden problems are more noticeable in unstructured situations. Problems with executive skills tend to show themselves in unstructured situations. Therefore the problems are not easily observed in formal tests, which provide structure."

She seemed a little uncomfortable with the idea of me driving, and also asked that I postpone my return to work, at least until we're done testing. I have appointments with her scheduled out through the end of the month to work on what ever might be wrong with me, including some facial things like making eating easier as well as the cognitive stuff.

So anyway, everything has been a headache with trying to figure out when to return to work. The neurosurgeon cleared me first but said I could stay out until the 22nd when I was done with OT and had more PT time if that made me more comfortable. Both of those therapists said the 22nd sounded good, more reasonable. Mental therapy is kind of like 'well I don't know if you're emotionally ready, but do what you feel is best for you'. And now SLP says 'not yet'. I'm just trying to follow directions! But I feel like I'm being a worthless employee. My manager has been the absolute best, and I feel bad for putting everyone through this big circle! I wish someone had told me in the beginning to get all these mental things checked out, so I could have been cleared by everything together. What a mess.

I really shouldn't go into all this on a public blog probably, but at this point I want to put it out there as a legitimate possible struggle for other AN patients that read this.

On the physical, headaches still getting worse. The fact that it's rained all week isn't helping. Motrin 600mg is okay at best. They aren't quite migraines, but they aren't comfortable, either!

And last but certainly not least, to top it all off, my grandmother unexpectedly died today.
Love you, Grandy!